I regret nothing and yet regret everything. I had perfection and imperfection. It’s too bad his imperfections destroyed my ability to feel joy.
I don’t understand, while away, I felt nothing, no love, no care, no strength, but when I was with him, he gave me it all while at the same time making me feel disgust for him. Why is this so? Have I gone mad? I believe my sanity left the building decades ago and it was only a matter of time. A matter of time before I explode.
A human being can only take so much.
How is it he can treat me so badly and yet brilliant at the same time? I have no clue but he succeeded in so.
It wasn’t meant to be.
If it was, I wouldn’t have so much problems with the imperfections of our relationship and his own.
I want him back without the worry to struggle with our imperfections. But that is impossible.
It is too late.
I ended it. Screwed it. There is no healing, there is no room for modifications.
I ruined it.
Right now, I feel numb and happy at the same time, but soon down the road I’ll regret everything and it’ll be too late.
It is too bad it’s so fucked up we can’t even be friends, I ruined that too. Maybe if I hadn’t screwed things up their would be a chance in the future. But there is not. Not anymore.
I used to consider myself Wonder Woman. What do I call myself now?
tags: wonder woman. strength. heartbreak. love. regret.